So Banksy has been outed. I’m a little late on this news, living in the middle of nowhere and being rather lackadaisical when it comes to reading the news. The funny thing is my friend Doris told me his name a couple of years ago – she’s an old friend of Banksy. She and a whole load of other friends have been protecting his identity for years (she told me because she knows a/ I live in the middle of Pootle-ville, and b/ no-one would ever believe the likes of me). And in any case I didn’t really register his whole name. The Robin bit yes, because had I been a boy I would have been called Robin – and I do wish they’d called me Robin anyway – but Banksy’s wierd surname just went in one ear and out the other. But I did recognise it when I heard the news. Anyway, Doris (beautiful half-Italian half-English mother of two living in Burgandy) once owned an old van which her mate Robin had painted – one of his works of art was on the bonnet. Doris sold the van before Banksy became famous and his paintings became worth a fortune. She sold it for £100 to some gypsies. Had she kept it and sold it nowadays she would be able to buy her and her family a chateau with private pool and box-tree maze. And even hire a pool-boy and a maze-boy to keep things pretty. But she didn’t. So she’s busy making woollen felt slippers and other bits and bobs and wondering what to do next to earn a living. She’s very happy. But I do wonder where that van bonnet ended up.