I realised yesterday, while talking on the phone to Sister Two about blogs and blogging and bloggery, that no-one is going to find me via the search engines. Who in their right mind is going to google “Ardèche, mummy, English” or “toddler, countryside, Gras” or even more incoherently “inagainoutagain” ? I need to change the title of this blog to include words like “sex”, “free” and “banana” although that might get the wrong kind of people looking in.
Then I thought I should write in to various Brit newspapers using a hidden identity and let them know this blog exists. “Dear The Guardian, I’ve just read this hilarious blog about a not-so-young mum living in the Ardèche hills in France with a toddler and a labrador and unsuccessfully looking for some acting work. It may sound very dull, but believe me it’s SO FUNNY. Would you believe it, her amarylis opened up yesterday and she broke her hoover. Do have a look and mention her on your blogpage. Yours sincerely, Betty Miff.”
I just can’t see it having the impact required to grab people’s attention and arouse their curiosity.
Maybe I should write about the racy flings and affairs I used to have. At least that would pull readers in. Once they were hooked I could go back to the pig and toddler stories.
Your opinions are welcome, as are any scheming plans and illegal procedures.