Yup, that’s me. Fatso. That’s the first clue.

Here’s the second : puko. Which is why I’ve been away for so long. Actually, the pukey bit tailed off nearly a month ago, leaving me feeling simply nauseated all day. Have you guessed yet? … I know one of my first posts this year stated loud and proud that I would not be putting a bun in the oven this year, but there you have it, a bun the size of an avocado is indeed rising in my oven and has been making me feel decidedly off writing, not to mention getting out of bed and prising open my eyes. Yup, this is the last time I do the pregnancy thing, and that  very thought is one of the things that has been helping me drag myself through the last two months. I should be feeling better soon though, as all the books, midwives, gynaecologists and internet sites say. “Come the second trimester you’ll be full of energy, glowing with beauty, feeling fantastic.” I’m nearly 17 weeks preggars though. When will I, will I feel fabulous? I’m wondering who I can sue.

So, I seem to be back, and seeing as from tomorrow onwards and for an entire week I’ll be on holiday in Malaga with nothing more strenuous to do than making sure Tommy doesn’t leap into the pool without any armbands on (I’m thinking of putting them on him the moment he wakes up and leaving them on until he hits the sack), I shall hopefully get back into this writing lark. In fact, it should be my priority as I’m wondering how on earth I’m going to earn my living in a year’s time with a 6 month old and a 4 year old to juggle in the middle of the Ardèche countryside. Writing seems a sensible thing to do. Dance projects and huge tours across France’s national theatre network have just been seriously pissed upon. I only have myself to blame so I shall stop whinging and admit that I’m secretly very excited to have a second baby. I just hope this one signs the “I-will-sleep-through-the-night-from-the-age-of-6-weeks” contract I’ve drawn up.


5 thoughts on “Fatso

  1. I can’t believe it ! I haven’t looked at this blog in literally a month and just when I decide to look at it again … Voilà there’s new stuff ! …
    Oh, you’re so funny and witty ! And sensible. I wish I were more like you … but I think I’m more like you perhaps than I really understand because obviously my looking at your blog today just one day after you post after no posts for nearly a month, that event proves that we are psychically linked.
    Have a good time in Spain.
    Hasta bientôt !

    • Dear Goodie, we are clearly psychically linked in the most profound mysterious way… I shall be counting on you to advise me on future life decisions and how to get through the next two years. In fact I shall be asking you to come and help me change nappies and do the early morning shift. Very good for the soul. x x x

  2. Does this put the scuppers on our future love affair? I had a sneaking feeling that the scoop was in the bun, or the bun was in the scoop, and am thrilled for the four of you. Much love, Nigel

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