Discipline. Discipline is the thing, as parps Colonel Hati in The Jungle Book as he marches his elephant patrol through the jungle underbrush. I believe him. However, I am, unfortunately, about as disciplined as his clumsy pachyderm parade, and about as forgetful as Colonel Hati, who ends up forgetting everything, including his little elephant son. Discipline. If I had some I would be a fantastic clarinet player, drummer, ballet dancer and yoga yogi. I would also be writing a bit on this blog EVERY PARPING DAY. It’s nearly the end of July. In August I shall be seeing my Auntie Liz and one of my aims is to be able to proudly announce “I am writing” and outlay my plans to get a weekly column with the Guardian. To do this I need to get writing indeed. Discipline is the thing. So tomorrow I promise to write about the fascinating subject of nipples; one I am sure shall thrill and impassion all (five of) my readers. And now back to stamping through my own jungle of domestic underbrush before bedtime. Parp.