To sleep, to dream …

I wanted a baby who slept well. I dreamt of a baby who timed her naps so that I too could catch up on sleep. I longed to join the mums who turn up to school at 8:20 a.m. immaculately dressed, delicately applied mascara and lipstick flashing, eyes wide-awake and ready for a busy day of coffee with friends, laughing with their groomed heads thrown back, underwear pressed and perfume-scented. Erm, actually … no thanks. Sounds like The Victoria Beckham School of Motherhood. But still. I hoped at least to stop turning up at Tommy’s school in holey tracky bottoms, milk-stained t-shirt slept in the night before, hair like I’d used a hedgehog as a pillow, eyes simultaneously crossed and weeping. I actually imagined that a second baby slept seven sound hours by the age of seven weeks. Isn’t that the law? To stop mothers with more than one child going mad and climbing into the dishwasher on the hardcore scrape-those-burnt-saucepans-clean cycle? Apparently not. It turns out I have a baby who tricks me into thinking my wish is about to come true by sleeping five hours straight one night and then taking speed for the next seven nights, raving through the dark hours, fists punching the air like she was at a Metallica concert and doing a pretty good imitation of the lead singer’s vocals. Never have I met a being so small and sweet and rosy-cheeked, yet with the grunts and groans of a snoring 75 year old Grampy. So even when she’s asleep at night I wear ear plugs so as not to  be woken up every fifteen minutes by the vocal equivalent of a Welsh gurning contest.  I continue to dream of an easy-sleeping baby, but it’s only in my dreams that that easy-sleeping baby exists.


2 thoughts on “To sleep, to dream …

  1. Oh dear, I’m afraid it is only in your dreams….get the World Service on your radio (get a DAB), invest in a pair of headphones that you can fall asleep wearing and plug in while you feed little Léonie – you’ll be surprised how fascinating a programme on Nigeria’s burgeoning pop scene can be at 3am and then how quickly a programme on China’s market socialism can put you back to sleep! I tell you what, it pretty much kept me sane on those long, long, LONG nights….thinking of you love xxxx PS HURRAH that your blog’s back on!!

  2. Yes, hurray that your blog’s back up … I have nothing to do with babies, but I love reading about what you’re living. I’m going to send your blog address to my boyfriend (unofficial !) …
    The MOnk

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