There’s nothing better than a kick up the bum from an elder sister for making things move. Sister One is apparently sick to the back teeth of seeing the same “Sexy Breastfeeding Bras” article when she opens up my blog. Seeing as she is a tenth of my readers, that gives her quite a bit of clout. And she’s right, who wants to read about breastfeeding bras, aside from other breastfeeding mothers, and strange men from Ealing?
My sister gave me a good spanking great kick up the bum many years ago when she set eyes on me for the first time in a year. During that year I had been trying my hardest to lose as much weight as possible. It wasn’t difficult, despite only weighing 7 stone in the first place. A teenaged metabolism is busy building body, burning up a ton of calories in the process. So if you deprive it of food, it not only burns up what little fat the body owns, it also fast becomes demineralised. I was a skinny little mess at 16. There are no photos of me at that period as I looked like a famine victim. I weighed under 5 and a half stone when my sister saw me. She screamed at me. What the fuck did I think I was doing? How could I be so stupid? I had better start eating again or there’d be hell to pay. No-one had dared shout at me like that. Everyone had been tiptoeing delicately around the subject, trying not to shake me up. Well my sister shook me up. I even seem to remember she literally shook me – my big head lolling on my scrawny neck (that’s a surefire way to spot an anorexic a mile off : Big Head Skinny Neck – they look like E.T.). It shook me and shocked me into reality. The truth was, I was killing myself off. Slowly but surely starting to disappear. I think if I had continued another year I would have been in big trouble. As it was the doctors didn’t hospitalise me because my parents begged them not to, but no-one had dared shout the truth in my face, until my sister did.
And now she has given me another kick-start, although the situation is a tad less critical. After all, if I don’t write a thing on my blog ever again no-one will die from it (except, potentially, the man from Ealing). But it does some good to be kicked up the bum, reminded that life is there to be lived and that blogs are there to be blogged. I shall do my best to write more regularly and to eat another portion of apple crumble of an evening.