That’s it, I’m on Mumsnet. After weeks of trying and trying and ultimately weeping onto my keyboard, and then worrying the thing might short-circuit or the salt might erode the nodules, I have actually managed to get my blog on Mumsnet. Well, actually, the Mumsnet team did it for me as I was repeatedly failing so miserably, battling against a page which confirmed I had registered as a Mumsnet member, but in order to join the bloggers network required me to fill in the bits highlighted in red, yet there were no bits highlighted in red. So I would fill all the bits in anyway, click, and the page insisting I fill in the red bits would come back to haunt me. After doing this about 87 times, I wondered if I hadn’t gone colour blind and simply couldn’t SEE the bits highlighted in red. So I lined up a tomato, a courgette and a blue glove to check they all looked different colours and they did, so I began to wonder whether the Mumsnet-Powers-That-Be had actually already had a look at my blog, decided it was crap, and taken action to diplomatically deny me access to their Holy Land by sending me back that page banging on about filling in the bits highlighted in red. Then I thought, “ah, maybe it HAS actually gone through and I just need to check my emails and click on something first … wait a sec, erm no … no email from Mumsnet. Hang on, what address did I give? I’ll just check … oh bollocks, I put @gmail.fr which of course doesn’t exist, so I need to re-do the whole malarky with @gmail.com … oh shite – now I can’t have the same username because their site assumes it already exists but with the faulty email address I just gave – and I did like that username a lot – I wonder if I can change it later… oh well, here I go with a lesser username “… once again I have sabotaged myself from pure carelessness, no doubt brought on from MAJOR sleep deprival, the same thing that leads me to smash my skull into the beam above Léonie’s cot and to put the car keys in the dishwasher.
In the end I wrote to Mumsnet, and they very snappily, and very helpfully, sorted things out and kindly accepted me onto their bloggers network. This has given me a huge sense of self-congratulatory satisfaction which has kept me floating along quite happily for the last 24 hours, until I realised that now I need to actually WRITE something. And something that might be read by people I don’t know, not just my sisters, my Dad and Nigel. People back in England, people with a cutting, wry sense of humour, people who read blogs all the time and know the chaff from the wheat. All of a sudden I feel like chaff. Quick, if you want to read something funny, try this : https://inagainoutagain.wordpress.com/2011/04/16/spiderman-doesnt-wear-pants/ … yeah, I don’t yet know how to condense that into a neat little underlined word but I’m sure Gareth will be so horrified at that clumsy link that he’ll phone me early tomorrow morning and give me a blogging-for-virgins lesson.
Ah … L’Homme just walked in. We have an argument to pick up, a good meaty one, so off I go to battle.