Cheese dealer

I have a new vocation. Cheese dealer. I have just ordered 75 kilos of Comté cheese which I will be picking up on a motorway exit on Sunday night from my supplier. I will then bring the cheese home, weigh it, cut it, wrap it in neat triangular packages and sell it to the local cheese zombies, the Ardèche space cadets – all of whom are my close friends, so they can count on me to be pushing only the best stuff. I’m what they call a thoroughbred. A high class cheese dealer. I am at the moment filing their cheques and counting the banknotes which I have collected over the past two weeks. I won’t be making any money on this deal – it’s purely for the love of cheese. On Monday I shall do my delivery round and by the evening everyone will be totally cheese blitzed. Totally off their faces, with little salty cheese crumbs around their mouths. I’m feeling pretty out of it just thinking about 75 kilos of the stuff. Or is that just 14 months of sleep deprivation combined with an extreme coffee/chilli pepper habit? Whatever. In France do as the French do. So I’m dealing cheese. And yes, I have used the word cheese an inordinate number of times in this post. Well, we are talking about SEVENTY FIVE KILOS of cheese. Of cheese! Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE.

it's just too good.


5 thoughts on “Cheese dealer

  1. You wouldn’t see this kind of furtive cheese smuggling going on at Newport Pagnell services. Are you going to be the proud owner of a whole cheese (or 2) ? According to Wikipedia, a whole compté weighs about 40kg so I hope l’Homme is around to help you get it out of the car.

  2. Ahh, my cheese days are long since gone, unless I’ve got rid of the kids for the day in which case, sometimes I have some. Cheese.

  3. Well, I bet you all wish you were pirates in the Caribbean right now. Or anywhere warmer than Europe for that matter. I’m waiting to see if L’Homme is heard to mutter “I’m just going outside and may be some time”. I hope not!
    Seriously, I hope the weather warms up and the pipes stop freezing. You deserve a break…

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