I just got the phone call. It was a very heartfelt phone call. They chose 3 actors out of the 8 who auditioned. I was the 4th. The other three were hardcore clowns with years of clownishness in their trousers, whereas let’s face it, I kind of invented Teapot for the audition. But they loved me, my musicality, my energy, my inventiveness – they just couldn’t quite seize my clown character, which is very fair criticism as not only was I busking it, I was also holding myself back for fear of going too far and dancing naked on a hospital table/singing rude songs to under 5 year olds/squirting passers-by with milk. Oh well, I’m on the waiting list – apparently I’ll be the next one in, the day one of their clowns leaves. Which will probably be in three years or so, unless one of the newcomers turns out to be a neo-Nazi or I persuade them to move to Mexico. Well, that gives me time to do a clown workshop or a cabaret as Teapot and whip her into shape. But for now it’s back to the drawing board. Back to being a stay-at-home mummy, picking squashed peas off the floor, pushing a tricycle to the post office/farm/cheese lady, counting pennies and using nappy cream as moisturiser. Poop indeed.

Fortunately it is absolutely gorgeous weather and for the moment I’m quite happy to spend the springtime at home with my two pea-squashers. I have a garden to re-haul, pirate costumes to repair and a table to sand down.

PS: Anyone looking for an actress?

4 thoughts on “Poop.

  1. Apparently the turnover is much faster than I thought. The other actors in the company say I’ll be joining them in the next 12 months … as soon as one of them gets pregnant or goes on tour with a show, I’m in! Yippee skippe doo-da.

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