Easter “holidays”

Look, let’s just say I have a raging ear infection, viral pharyngitis – which both kids have too – I’ve just had two nights in a row of hourly crying baby awakenings (sore throat? sore gums? who knows? we certainly never will), I have spent the day racing about taking myself and the kids to the doctor which involves a 20 minute (usually takes 30 but we were late) Starsky and Hutch car drive down windy Gorges death-roads, a  25 minute queue at the pharmacy while Léonie kept wandering out the door into the carpark and I relied on Tommy to bring her back in (he was dressed as a pirate with national health specs on – he’d been trying them out), then a lunchtime of de-ticking Baloo and delivering her to our dogsitters’ home, a drive to the hairdressers with the windscreen wiper sticking to the windscreen which made driving in the pouring rain a tad tricky, a haircut – I looked fab for precisely 5 minutes and then I stepped out into the rain and by the time I got back to the car I looked like a drowned, ratty rat … back home the kids were fighting, Léonie has discovered she has nails and can scratch her brother, L’Homme dealt with all this plus cooking dinner too late by huffing and puffing and blowing raspberries like the French do when they’re pissed off and I ended up packing at 9 p.m. and then fighting with the Ryanair site which kept telling me my “session has expired” when I was trying to print out our boarding cards to avoid paying £500 tomorrow morning. Oh, and of course I receive an email asking me for a demo CD of my voice STRAIGHT AWAY, which is why I’m still down here, waiting for the CD to burn. And tomorrow, we get up at 5:30 a.m. and drive to Nimes airport for ten days in the UK, starting in Newport Pagnell with Papa Le Bike and my mum who’s just come out of hospital and is overly anxious about pretty much everything. Oh, and I’m on my own again. L’Homme will be having fun working in Arles while I’m driving up and down the England in the pissing rain, high on antibiotics, chucking biscuits into the back seat to keep the kids quiet and concentrating VERY hard on driving on the left. Especially at roundabouts.

But sometimes, when you’re expecting the ride to be a rough one,  it somehow, magically turns out right. Erm, just pray for me anyway. I don’t care to who. I’m sure any god will look down with pity upon me. And laugh. And then change channels.

Check out this terrifying Pirate of the Seas ... in French reading specs.

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